Shhhhhh

Don't tell Derek....I just realized that I used his toothbrush twice today. Man, mine is the pink one, the pink one, the pink one....hopefully that does it.

He loves me...He loves me not....He LovEs Me!

Cooper picked me flowers for the first time. He was so excited to give them to me, like he had come up with best idea ever invented. Sure they were from the garlic plant, so the house and his hands smelled...yummy (?)... for a while, but it made my day. Maybe picking flowers for mom is the best idea ever invented.

They're in

The tubes are in. Corbin did great. We'll know if the Doctor did great next week (smile).

I was worried about keeping food away from him this morning, but our check in time was 7:30 am. soo happy it was early. We slept in (in Corbin time) and got ready to go in about 15 min. so no food was easy.

We had plenty of new books and stickers to play with while we waited, and thanks to Kara, one book we bought really prepared him. The nurse thought it was so great, she took it from me to show the Doctors in surgery. They are planning to order a bunch.

Waking up from the anesthesia was hard, but he didn't get sick so hurray for small blessings. He is feeling well and after only one dose of Motrin hasn't complained of any pain.

Now we just wait for our coming visits to see if his hearing comes back. I think it will. Our new challenge...to keep 'em dry. That's gonna be tricky.

Thanks

I have the best friends. You are all so faithful and positive. I just wanted to say thank you for the helpful comments you left on my last post. Thank You.

I feel lots better. I feel calm and not so stressed.

Going to the temple was just what I needed. I realized that I have been given a special blessing. That is, I don't feel jealous of anyone who is pregnant....ever. I really honestly never get my feelings hurt or wish it was me when other people can have babies no matter how easily they come to them. It's like a whole separate part of my brain that doesn't even compare our situation to theirs {or yours}. I am not sensitive about it at all.

I know that is a blessing from my Heavenly Father. One I had never thought about.

I love to hear that my friends are expecting and I hope that you never hesitate to share that news with me. I may not be able to swap breast feeding stories with you, but I'm fine with that, and I still want to hear yours (smile). I do know that no matter how a baby comes to your family there is always worries that everything will be okay, and that I totally get.

HomeStudy

I have wanted to write about our Adoption Homestudy Visit this week...but it's really hard for me to put into words how frustrating the adoption process can be and at the same time express how much we love it.

We love that we have two of the cutest boys we could have ever dreamed of. We love them. They are ours and we feel so grateful to our Heavenly Father for helping to guide their birthparents (who we love) to find us. To help them make the difficult {understatement} decision to place their babies with us.

But it is hard feeling like another child is so out of our hands. Right now it is in the hands of an agency that looses our paperwork and doesn't remember the things they have told us. In the hands of a {new,young} case worker who will only be in the office a couple days this month, so there is no way she can do anything to get our profile on line until October. October!

But we are glad that the Church has this agency. We love that the birthparents get to chose who their baby will go to, not just to who ever is next on the list. I love that when Corbin was born our case worker said a prayer in his office before putting our profile in the binder that his parents would be choosing from. I'm thankful for that.

I know that this really is all in Heavenly Fathers hands. I know that He knew our paperwork would be misplaced a dozen times, even after we had been told it was all in.

But this time is stirring up all the feelings that infertility {I hate that word} brings with it. It's just like wondering each month it the test will be positive. Only this time it's wondering if our phone call will finally be returned, did they get our last set of paperwork....."No, sorry" or "Oh we just realized we don't have -----"; So we try again next month.

For couples who have already gone through years of this disappointment it just seems like paperwork should be the easy part. And I hate feeling like I'm complaining about paperwork while there are girls, women, out there trying to decided to keep or place their babies. I know it doesn't compare, this is really not hard.

So we are going to the temple tonight. I just need to feel that peace. I need to feel closer to my Heavenly Father. I need His comfort, to know He is with us through this. I want to pray for the birthparents of our next little baby. {Who ever they are, when ever they are} I want them to feel his love and strength. I'm sure we both need it.

Friends

Cooper and I were playing on the floor today and he threw himself on me and gave me a big tight hug and said:

I or fin mommy

(I your friend Mommy)

Em keep oo save ba guys

(I'm keep you safe from bad guys)

I mommy fin Cooper

(I mommy friend Cooper)

Sometimes I just want to eat him up he's so sweet.

Can't Go Anywhere With Out My Little GPS

This is my little back seat driver.

He can get us to: Grandmas House, the Grocery store, Target, the Mall, Candace's House, The Speech Therapists, The Doctors, The Dentist, The General direction of the Beach and Disney land, Church, School, and I'm sure a few other places.

He has a map in his head.

My favorite is when he tells me to "keep straighting".

I think being all buckled up takes a little control away from him, but being able to help me know which way to go gives him a little back. I'm sure it will come in handy someday....maybe he'll be a taxi driver when he grows up (smile).